Hanging from a telephone wire
by MoetEtCadaver
Summary: Liar, Liar. Phil's concocted a fake girlfriend so no one is on to who he is really thinking about. Rated T for language and mature theme.
1. Sicko

And the _only _girl I'd love is the girl who'd **hate **to love me.

The fucking worst shit for me.

Grubby, sloppy, nasty, grungy, muddy, scummy, uncleanly, slimy, unwashed, grimy, soiled, sooty, unkempt, unbrushed mess of brown oily hair matting at the top of her head. **Gross**

Odd, eccentric, bizarre, off color, unusual, weird...

_Unnatural._

Does that make me a self absorbed prick to fall for someone exactly like me?

Does it make me a sick, demented fuck that the person is my flesh, tissue and blood.

The sharer of 50% of my genetics.

My own twin sister...

I wonder if my ego is inflated. I mean I must be one conceited dude to have only had feelings for someone who looks EXACTLY like me, and acts EXACTLY like me... The female Phil. I've always kind of been one to capitalize on our eerie similarities, to where it's convinced me there just isn't anyone out there for me...except _her. _Even though that isn't uncommon of twins to be exactly alike in every which way. Well I take that back, we USE to be alike. Ever since Diane and her followers Leslie and Bret tried to get Lil to join the dark forces of fake nails, mall shopping and boy/girl parties, we haven't. They did happen to drag Lil into going to one once when we were in 6th grade, this was the same day those stuck-up Prima donna's and pretty boy Bret convinced her to move out of _our_ room we shared. Any way, they were talking shit about me. (What else is new?) and Lil defended me... I thought that was the end of them, but they forgave her for being "socially inept" or whatever... and took her back into their clutches.

I guess I shouldn't be _too _surprised. Lil isn't exactly unattractive. But damn did they have to go and completely brainwash her into abandoning her mud-bathing, food fighting, gross out ways! Now she is part of Diane's crew... Which apparently means basing your appearance off of magazines and dumbing yourself down so guys will screw you. Which doesn't surprise me one bit about Bret_ if you know what I mean._ I don't feel threatened that he hangs out with my sister on the merry little fact that I saw his wondering eyes scoping out Z's junk in the boys room 8th grade year. Y_eah, I outed him of the closet looong ago._

Guess it's for the best that this secret I'm keeping from her is going to stay locked in a steal vault. I don't have the balls to tell my own sister that I'm in love with her.

As soon as I get my tray lunch I head straight out the cafeteria doors toward to lunch courtyard. I have to divert away from the popular table indoors where my sister always sits. I'm a fan of the 'out of mind, out of sight' method when it comes to not thinking about a girl. As soon as I get outside I spot Tommy, Dil and Chuckie sitting at our usual spot. Kimi hasn't sat down yet so I assume she is still waiting in the lunch line. They must be in one hell of a conversation because they haven't even noticed me standing behind them. The Yu-Gotta-Go craze must be back. Or maybe their cracking jokes about Chetwyn getting milk nose.

"Neat! So how far into the movie did she get her shirt wet?'"

Ah girls. Figures. Why am I not surprised?

I'm glad they haven't noticed me yet, gives me a second to think up my A-game. You see I've bullshited up this story that I've been dating this hot, blonde who attends a different high school. I was killing time on the Myspazz website when Harold Frumpkin started an e-war with me in comments. Right after that sub Mr. Fritz left he and Angelica got together and have been dating ever since. One of those _geeks get the girl _deals. He kept on blabbering on and on about Angelica... So yeah, I called her a slut.

As you can tell I detest the shallow, superficial, pom-pom head types. I'm a bit biased for the fact that those are the girls who took Lillian away from me, but honestly I just prefer Lil's nonconformity over the fake girl type. THAT and... Angelica really looks like a slut.

He started bitching about how she "wasn't" and _at least he** had** a girlfriend. _Normally I'd let that one slide. I'm a pretty laid back guy and Harold's two cents aren't worth shit to me. Just that Chuckie and Tommy were standing right behind me at the time. I didn't want them to think too much into me signing off. First they'd wonder why I never had a girlfriend, they'd piece the puzzle together. Tommy would assume that I was gay. Dil would assume I was a HaumeaSexual, which meant I was only attracted to the female lifeforms of the Planet Haumea, like **he **likes... (Seriously, don't ask.)

Now being gay or an... _alien girl lover_ was a whole lot better than them finding out that I was in love with Lil. I didn't want them to finally get there. I just glared into the screen, cool hand luke styled, and typed away. "I do so have a girlfriend Frumpkin! She just doesn't go here."

Since then the guys are always grilling my ass about her. _"Have you stolen any panties from her drawer when you were at her house?_

_"Have you seen her bra yet... While she was wearing it?"_

_"What's her name?"_ Am I stating the obvious that the last one was asked by first base Finster?

However I became fond of the name Pam.

Since the topic was on the opposite sex I had to play by cards right and let them think I was very into hotter, older, blonder "Pam."

"Hey gentlemen. Do any of you have a condom to spare?" It's a damn near lie if any of them pretend that they do. I know they're all virgins. I mean hey I am too but it's just funny as fuck to mess with them like this. I use my laidback and composed tone. I didn't have to fidget with my lips not to curl into a smirk anymore when I lied. I'd been lying for so many years now about not having feelings for my sister, everything else was cake.

... Though I did have to fight the urge to bust a gut if I burst out laughing from their dropped jaws. Tommy and Chuckie sat there speechless. Dil didn't really seem to care, he was just fiddling with some intergalactic transmitter, which was a metal clothing hanger. I slide my tray down next to him so that I would be sitting across from Chuckie and Tommy. I wanted to face them, seeing as they were more likely to bite the bait than Dil.

Chuckie's arms were starting to accumulate sweat because his elbows which were propped up onto the table, slipped now. "C-c-condom?"

I liked Chuckie's eyes with glasses. I could see his nervous reaction best.

"Yep." I blink my half-lidded eyes. I could transition them in this way quick as a fox now. I used this stare a lot, it was the stare I gave to people that I was lying to. It was calm enough to assure them to trust me even though I was piling nothing but complete bullshit down their throats.

"Alriiiight Phil! You and Pam gonna seal the deal tonight?"

Tommy tried to sound _experienced_, but the lifelessness in his pocket where no Trojan occupied gave him away. Right then and there I wanted to laugh my ass off at how Tommy was playing it _cool._ I could tell he was squirming. As the leader of our group he was obviously ticked off and jealous that he thought _**I** _would be losing it first and not him.

"Was planning on it. But I need a rubber." I took a bite of of my sandwich casually just to piss him off.

All of a sudden their eyes reached an all new wide and they were as silent as laboratory mice. I figure I must have said something so I keep it going, this all with a cocky, confident show-offy grin plastered at my face. "So do you virgins have a glove or not? C'mon I seriously want to plow this chick!"

My heart jumps off a suicide bride and lands right into my lower gut. I fall victim of complete basket case syndrome. I feel sicker than when I ate molded cheese. I'm tight-lipped, tongue-tied, voiceless. I think I'm going to hurl my lunch all over my shoes. Lil was standing right behind me.

"Oh my goodness..."

She has a brown bag pulled tightly against her torso. Her eyes and searching over my frame with shuddersome disgust. I take it she heard... and bought that entire act. She just shakes her head then walks away and I'm left to pick up the pieces. Great, here I am to wipe the egg off of my face. I can't believe she had to overhear that! Now she thinks I'm an asshole, some kind of sex pervert. Someone who pressures girls to sleep with him. Greaaat, friggen great!

As much as I hate the idea of her thinking_ that's _the kind of dude I am, maybe it's better_ if_ I disgust her. I'd rather her think I'm a jackass than a sicko who wants her. At least with the first one she'd still talk to me. (Assuming her friends aren't around.)


	2. Hammered

After the lunch incident the rest of the day pretty much got shot to hell. I wanted to just walk home, crawl into my sleeping bag and rot. But to keep up with the girlfriend front I hopped off the school bus everyday after school and went to her house until dinner time. And by "her house" I'm really saying the parking lot of the now abandon food mart, smoking pot. Wasting the homework hours of 3:00-5:30 every day getting shit faced. When I first started I thought it was the greatest thing in the fucking world. My parents bought the girlfriend angle, thought that it would be "good for me to get out more." They even INSISTED I go, unwittingly they were supporting me getting stoned! Haha yeah... but after weeks of this trite shit it became an old hat. FAST!

After having my sister think I'm the biggest asswipe on the planet my life was pretty much over. I had a feeling no matter how much weed I smoked I'd never completely erase the look I remember that sat upon her face. A hybrid of disturbance and repulsion. I sighed and extracted the dime baggie from my snot nose backpack I still carried around. I almost broke the zipper rushing through the backpack to look for the stash. I lifted up a few unused math books and found it. I forgot I hid it under. I needed a quick fix to get my mind out of my problems. I was mentally kicking my self in the nuts that I didn't pre-roll the dewbies. I usually did but today I got up too late and just honestly kind of forgot. Kimi's friend Z started dealing to me a few months ago. He had off the hook pot. I licked the zig-zag papers and started to roll. My joint looked as sloppy as a first-timers but it didn't matter at this point. This was good shit so it worked, period.

As old as this routine was it was probably again for the best I wasn't at home this time every day around my sister. This was when she was doing her smart girl homework. Ha, even though she'd joined a group of dummies who slept with nerds to do their homework for them, this was a part my sister never conformed to. She was smart, really smart. Back when we use to be best friends she still didn't want me to be her partner on any school project. She always knew I was screw up and would lower our grade. Still gives me a good laugh to think about though. I finally rolled up the joint and started to light it up. I took two hits instantly to start me up then the rest were slower tokes. I'm such an idiot, sitting on the yellow parking curb getting stoned because I can't go home. I just **can't. **I seriously piled myself neck deep in a pool of my own B.S.

Looking back through the window of the ran down food mart, I wish it was still open. I'm starting to get the munchies and would kill for a bag of Doritos's.

Just then through the glass I see a figure. It evens out to four figures. Tommy, Chuckie, Kimi and Dil get closer. Squinting I turn around back in my space to find them coming closer to me. I'm too gone right now to even think to blow out this joint and toss away the evidence. Guess it's time my secret is exposed.

"What are you doing here?" Tommy looks suspicious, though I have no idea of what. "I thought you were supposed to be at your girlfriends house?" OH SHIT! The lie. MY lie. Uhh umm...

Chuckie's ultra-sensitive nostrils flare and sniff the smoky fog of marijuana laced air. "Phil, you smoke?"

It didn't take his super sensory to detect, everyone could smell it. I looked up, my bloodshot eyes meeting with the clearness of Kimi's, Tommy's, Chuckie's and Dil's. "We broke up... last week."

I wish I hadn't smoked so much of this good stuff so I could focus. This is what they call two-toke. Two is all it takes but I went way beyond just two hits.

"Then why did you call mom and dad forty five minutes ago and say you were at your girlfriends house?"

My bloodshot eyes open instantly. Popping out of my head. A voice I instantly recognize. "Lil?" I sputter out her name. I jump straight up and start to fan the air, I even fan with the hand that holds the still lit joint. "Wha-What are you doing here?"

Her eyes disillusion as they boomerang back and forth between mine and the dewbie between my fingers. "Phillip... Is _that_ marijuana?"

They all take a step closer. She is on a constant eye of the joint so I drop it. I can barely see which one of them looks the most shocked but I'm pretty sure I saw my sister shaking her head, sighing.

The silence between all 6 of us grows awkward. "Did you get that from Pam?"

Lil lifts her head up, making discovery eyes over toward Kimi, who just asked about Miss. Imaginary... "Pam?" My stomach tenses and I feel that same sickness from lunch reenter me. Now I'm grateful I didn't bust through that grocery store window to look for snack chips. "You told our family her name was Dena."

"Wait a minute. If you broke up last week with Pam... Or Dena. Why were you asking us today at lunch for a condom to have _do it_ with her?"

Everyone is looking toward Tommy, who most likely just asked the best question to bust me on._ I'm a dead man walking!_

I don't even give a shit about Dena OR Pam right now. The only girl I have eyes for is Mary Jane. I look down to the ground and notice it's still alive with an orange fire burning at the tip._  
_

I feel all 10 pupils following me, steadying on mine. Busting me. Only two of those eyes look identical to mine, only right now we have very different emotions in them. "So this is where you've been every day from three O' clock to five thirty? What's going on Phil?"

I try to slip into coolness. My cloak of lies that have been my alibi for the all these years. I just can't go on with this facade, it is coming to an end quickly and as hard as I try to grasp it in my hands it keeps slipping away, taunting me and threatening to expose me in front of all of my friends.

My heart is racing a marathon. I can feel it beat abnormally and pulsate against my rib cage. Then a van drives up and hitting me a direct blow to the same ribs. I feel like gagging but every breath i take to clear my head is filled with the lingering pot. I could either choke up or have my heart attack itself out of my chest and die in front of all these people right now. With my final breath I blurt out, loud and obnoxiously, to the point where it sounds more like I'm screaming and shouting rather than word spewage. "I never had a girlfriend! I made it all up. Are you people friggen happy now!"

I step over the lit joint and it goes out after I stampede away in the hysteria of my embarrassment. I never look back, not once. I just run and keep on running. I can imagine the shock in their eyes, the tension in their face, the opened mouths.

"I guess we better go after him-"

"No you guys... _I'll_ go... He's my brother."


	3. A liar knows a liar

_"I guess we better go after him-"_

_"No you guys... I'll go... He's my brother."_

* * *

"Phil!. . .Phil!. . . Phillip!"

The voice I've grown to smile over for years now... sounds taunting as it grows louder. I hear it become almost overarching which means she is much closer than I estimated. I turn around and she is still chasing me through parking lots. "Phillip! Wait up!"

Shit! Why can't she leave me alone? Wasn't being found in front of all my friends humiliating enough? She runs. I run faster. It's like we're playing some sort of messed up cat and mouse game to avoid my feelings.

"Ahhh! Ouch!"

"Lillian?" While running I look over my left shoulder to see her knees curled up against her abdomen. Her fetal position looks as crammed as it was back in the days when we use to share the womb, if not more compressed. She seems to be clutching onto her caps. This could very well be a trick. Lil always has been damned good at manipulating, though she never used it to an Angelica-extent. I have to admit, this has definitely slowed me down. Maybe that is what she wanted, so she could catch me and interrogate me. She still isn't making a move. I could book right now and she'd never catch me, but I don't. I can't. Instead I come to a complete slow, I curl over, placing my hands over my knees and start rapid breathing. I only take a second before I sprint back over to my sister. "Oh damn Lil, are you alright?"

"Ahh... No. I tripped while chasing you and skinned my knee."

Her knee is covered in blood and she tore right through her jeans. Explaining her wound. "Shit Lil, I'm sorry!" Looking down toward the cement I feel the guilt of her getting hurt. I notice she holds both of her hands out which are dark by dirt. She looks around for some kind of napkin to wipe them on but when she sees nothing she rests them at her sides and sits up. As she sits up I get to the ground to sit with her. This isn't the old Lil I know anymore. The old Lil would have wiped her hands all over the front of her shirt and enjoyed being dirty. "I'm so sorry Lil... I hate seeing you hurt like this."

Her eyes trail up my pant leg slowly which makes my stomach uneasy. I wish I could know what was going on in that brain of hers right now. They trail until they are looking against my eyes. "The pain is gone now. I just wish I had some way to clean up the blood."

"Lick it."

"Eww, gross! Are you sick!"

Ha. In more ways than one sister, my dear. But I'm not about to tell you that. "What's the big deal about licking your_ own _blood? You use to do it all the time, we both did!"

"Whatever Phillip."

What do I fricken say to 'whatever?' She doesn't give me much to work on and now we are library silent. "... Listen if the pain comes back I still have some weed and papers in my backpack we can smoke so you are comfortable."

Bad idea. Her eyes which mirror my own physically encage mine in her darkened glare. "I can't believe you're a stoner now."

_Psht, I can't believe you're a teeny bopper but you don't see me grilling you._

"I'm not."

"You smoke pot Phillip!"

"Yeah, but I haven't been for very long. It's a new thing to get my mind off of... _things._"

"Don't bother explaining what kind of_ 'things' _because I don't care what your excuse is."

Thank God, I was going to spit up blood if she tried to get me to talk. I don't even see what the big wig is. Her friends take diet pills and she doesn't seem to have a problem with those drugs. She sighs and places her hand over her forehead. "Phil, I don't care what problems you have, you didn't need to turn to drugs. You could have always talked to me."

She's shitting me right now! She must be shitting me! Ok Lil, bring out Tommy who is behind his camera saying 'gotcha' because this has to be some prank you're playing, you're yanking my chain if you honestly think I could come to you for **anything** anymore. What is on my mind is of no interest to you these days. "Come to you? Come to... _Lil_, this is the most we've talked in **9 months **and we both know if _this_ wasn't involved." I rummage through my book bag angrily and start wagging the baggie in my shaking fist until I get so fed up I chuck it over my shoulder into a bush in the heat of the moment. "We wouldn't even be talking now!" Her eyes seem wide and I think I went overboard by yelling, I can feel my heart back up again. I take a few calming breaths. I shouldn't have freaked out like that on her. "You'd like it if you just tried it. We love putting things that grow from the dirt in our mouths."

I see her shudder in revulsion to who she once was. It makes me shirt uncomfortably.

"I _use_ to do that Phil, I've changed."

"Oh people don't change! You're born with a specific personality that's programmed into your wiring!"

Looks like she just had her mind blown away, her eyes are cast open in shock. "You... You read a biology book?"

Ha, Lil always use to rag on me back in the day when we'd be science partners. I'd never pull my weight. I'm the slacker, snack muncher and she's the smart one. Our separation started when she refused to partner up with me any longer because me being an idiot was getting in the way of her grades. I just loved how she'd yell at me with big words and I wasn't sure if she was insulting me or not. It was all fun for a while but I wanted to be a part of her world again. "Of course I did... For you."

I notice a small smile on her face.

"So yeah, you're personality is pretty much set and it's been set as my twin. You're as gross, dirty and weird as me. Remember when we use to play on the same soccer team? You loved your cleats and grass stained uniform. You hate dressing up and doing that proper shit. You're smart, really smart. You don't need to dumb yourself down for guys to like you. You're a garbage dumpster diver, not a cheerleader. You just think you're one of those shallow airheads because it's easier that way."

"Whatever Phil, you don't know me." For someone with a bad knee she quickly jumps upon her legs, she dusts her hands off on her pants for a moment then starts to storm off.

I drop my jaw in shock and sit there to collect myself in the few seconds I have of this changing of events. I spring up and chase after her. "Who knows you better than your own twin brother?" _I could tell her she's hiding from who she really is but that would make me a hypocrite since I'm hiding who I really am as well._

"I know you well enough to know that deep damn you don't give a crap about your clothes or what guys think of you. You're lying to yourself." She rolls her eyes and tries to out walk me. I stop and she keeps on walking. My hands cup over my mouth to direct my voice in her direction. "It takes a liar to know a liar Lillian!"

She's stopped. I raise my eyebrow. I can only see the back of her head. Slowly she turns to face me, and gets close. Closing the gap of space between us. "What are you lying about then?"

"Uhh nothing, It's... nevermind. " _Shit! The things I say when I'm mad and blurting._

"No, no. You've been giving me the third degree about living a lie now. What kind of lie have _you _been living?"

"I just meant... about my fake girlfriend." I look up above and think it over, yeah that sounds pretty right. Convincing.

"That's not it."

Instantly I choke out coughing. "Whaaat?" Shit, shit shit! I'm sweating bullets. I look up into my forehead as a droplet makes like rain down my face. "Eh, what makes you say that?"

"_A liar knows a liar_, right Phillip?" She winks.

My logic used against me, well played my sister. Always said you were the smart one. So tactical, so brilliant, so pretty... I shake my head and hope the thoughts come out as well.

"Though now that you mention that... That is pretty_ strange_ even for you, to make up that and keep it up this long. Why'd you do it?"

Uh oh. I haven't thought up an alibi to this question yet. I never thought I'd get busted. "Well I've been smoking sooo... I made Dena up to smoke."

Her eyebrow is high and suspicious. I must have left a hole in my story. As usual she always finds me out.

"You just said you haven't been smoking that long, and you've been pretending you've been dating Dena for months. The time line doesn't add up."

My right eye starts to twitch.

"You know when I bring up the marijuana issue you're fine and then when I say _"girlfriend"_ you're a wreck."

I try hard not to let her see me twitching.

"People from school have been seeing you and Z meeting behind the gym."

"Well yeah, he's been dealing."

"In exchange for what?"

Whoa, whoa whoa, Lil doesn't think I'm fruity does she? I almost let her walk away with this one, it's better than the truth but somehow I can't let it go. "What are you getting at Lillian?"

"From his green spiked hair, the leather pants and chains kids at school say he has a huge bondage fetish. And that he is bisexual. Look I'm not judging or anything. I just... want to know the truth." Lil takes my hand into hers and I feel like someone has kicked me in the enjoying stomach. "I'll accept you no matt-

"Lil." I have to stop her before I hear another word. I shake away until my hand is no longer in hers. I wish what she said could be true, she'd be accepting no matter what, but it's not true. Yeah, sure maybe she'd accept me if I took it up the ass or if I was into S&M, but this is bigger than all of that. This passes unconventional and enters_ sick._ My sister has this idea in her head she isn't into sickness anymore.

"Phil, what is going on?"

I wait until she blinks. Just the second her eyes start to close... I'm off! I start out like a rabbit trying to out run it's hunter. I feel gripping upon my shoe and I fall straight forward and splat onto the ground. Everything is black but as soon as the stars are gone I look behind me and see my sister clutching my shoes in her hands, my shoe laces are loosened in her fingertips. She smirks up at me knowing she got me good, I assume to keep me from escaping she crawls over my body on the ground, letting her nails sink into the skin of my shoulder blades as she holds me against the ground, pinning me. "C'mon Phillip. No escaping now. Tell me her name!"

"She'd..." I look up at her, our faces are so close. Medicine bottle length apart. I resist my inner urges to savagely kiss her and confess. I let out a laugh of defeat. "Kill me."

"Why? Is she one of those detention girls from school?" My sister is not going to get off of me anytime soon so I just try to answer all the questions she throws at me until she decides to let me up. I wiggle trying to get free but it is no use.

"No she's more of a pretender. But deep down she's kind of one of the guys I guess you could say."

"Oh?" Lil is completely lost on this one. I smirk that I've confused Ms. Smarty Pants. I give short, vague answers so she'll never connect the dots. "Is she too shy to be herself?"

"No, she can actually be pretty daring."

"Walking under ladders daring?"

"No. She's superstitious."

"Heh, you know... I don't know why you just won't come out and tell me, she sounds **exactly** like me so I know we'd get along great! You wouldn't have to worry about not having my approval."

I notice my sister stare at a lump of spit sliding down my throat, it causes her to loosen her grip upon me more, which makes me wonder if this is the moment she finally figured it all out. "Phillip... It's not..."

I wince as she climbs off of me, bolting almost. Trying to move away from me as quickly as possible. I feel like my stomach is flipping. I'm on edge of the uncertainty. I sit up to my knees so we are more at level of our eyes. I have jittery hands like I do when I drink too much coffee from the Java Lava. Still, she says nothing. The look on her face is questioning and searching. Like she has so many answers but no questions. Damn say something Lil! I'm too sick at this point to speak.

"Wally...There was Wally. What about Wally?"

"Your best friend at the time. You were like her or else you wouldn't have been friends. The soccer playing, junk food eating, tom boy? Pretty similar to you, not exactly like you but she was as close as I'd ever get." Sure I was devastated when me and Wally broke up, but it wasn't because I lost her. I just put all the energy and love I had for my sister into the relationship with Wally, since I pretty much figured she was the closest thing to the actual Lil I'd ever have, so when she left it was like Lil left and it killed me.

She scoots a little closer to me now. "Ha, I was so jealous of the two of you. Now I'm not even sure why..."

"Yeah, I didn't notice you were jealous until after _you_ broke us up." Swallowing a wad of spit I put a few more of my cards onto the table. "I've always wondered why you did that. Why you wanted to break her and I up... Like if you did it for the reason I'm thinking..."

The expression on my sisters face is unreadable. I'm waiting any second for her to slap me, kick rocks onto my shoes, call me a sick freak and never speak to me again, but she doesn't. She just sits and we stare.

"Phil... This is... weird."

"When Brett eats he gets food all over his face, he picks his nose and Nicholas you use to like, your purple haired science partner back from middle school, you and him did spit balls together on that project. You don't find any of that weird?"

"W-w-weird? How so?" Her voice is just as shaky, nervous and slowly dabbling with exploration as mine. I hear her trying not to stumble over what she says but her fear is apparent. Just as mine. After all... we're twins, what I feel she feels, what she feels, I feel.

I think she finally realizes that with my next sentence.

"That all those guys sound... exactly like me."


End file.
